I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
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