Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
