Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize
