i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
