I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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