Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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