Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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