you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize
