i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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