By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Randomize