fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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