so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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