party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
third nipple confirmed
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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