she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
