I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
