Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
