Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
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He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
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