it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
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