She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
