How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
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