You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
