I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
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