is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
