I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
