Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize
