I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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