I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
