when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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