Why are handjobs necessary in class?
home. puking in laundry basket.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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