So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
