What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
