So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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