remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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