This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
