You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize