Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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