it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
