i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
