It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.