No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I need a hoe opinion