i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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