So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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