holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
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