I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
