My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
