don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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