For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
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It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
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Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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