Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
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