with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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