I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
