we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
