Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
