bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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