I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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