wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Semen is not good for contacts.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
