Having a random hookup so left but love u
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
