Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
