My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I think a kid would responsible me up
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
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