If i come over, it means nothing
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
