I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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