I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
he shaved USA in his pubs
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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