Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
