redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
