I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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